Haven't posted for quite a while, but wanted to address a question I recently received via Facebook, specifically, even if the church has some skeletons in its closet, why do I have such a problem with the LDS religion? That is a loaded question and deserves several different entries, so this will be a summary and I'll likely write more blogs as I have time. By the way, I'm putting this in my blog so that all of you Facebook friends who don't want to be inundated with my ramblings can just ignore this post if it doesn't interest you or you think you may be offended by it. If you don't want to read it, I don't blame you. Reading negative things about a religion you love and that has added so much value and goodness to your life is a tough proposition and, even though I hope you read this, I understand if you don't. Now let's get down to brass tacks.
First, a confession. Even though I try to come across as not angry and try to be level-headed about this subject, I am admittedly angry and bitter at times. I struggle to contain my rage and lash out from time to time, especially when the LDS church issues public statements or writes things that I find damaging to either my family or my relationship with my family. Any time its articles cast me in a negative light because I no longer believe (notice I did not say "lost my testimony" because I believe there is such thing as a "testimony"), I get angry. When I hear the LDS church trying to indoctrinate my children and asking them to use their feelings to rule their lives rather than their brains, I get angry. When the LDS church fights against basic rights of people (blacks and the priesthood until 1978, and currently women and homosexuals), I get angry. So that being said, I will try to keep this post above board and encourage discussion rather than virtual shouting matches. But I think I need to be fair in stating that I am biased and am working through my emotions.
Why should I care enough to be angry? I mean when someone leaves, people constantly say, "They can leave the church but they can't leave it alone." Let's examine this statement. You are right, I can't leave it alone. It is still a part of my life, whether I want it to be or not. My family attends church every Sunday, I go to ward functions, I hear primary songs in my home, I see a constant barrage of "I'm a Mormon" posts on Facebook, I see posts about the new movie "Meet the Mormons" and how local leaders pressured and, in some cases, paid for members to attend the movie in order to boost up numbers. More painfully, I hear talks comparing me to Judas Iscariot, a traitor to his cause and a demonized figure of the New Testament. I also read lessons in the Joseph Smith manual about the "Bitter Fruits of Apostasy" that basically tells people that people who leave the church have lost the light and are in Satan's hands. This lesson gives no historical context to the statements Joseph Smith made in this manual and, for the most part, the people who publicly vilified him during his time were for the most part speaking the truth.
Let's talk briefly about one of those people who tasted the "bitter fruits of apostasy." William Law. Have you ever heard of the Nauvoo Expositor? William Law and his brother were in the upper eschelons of church leadership and saw how Joseph Smith was marrying child brides to himself and other men's wives and had a problem with it. There is quite a bit more history around it--you can catch up on it in Rough Stone Rolling--but basically, based on their observations, they believed power had gone to Joseph Smith's head and he was becomming corrupt. He was the mayor of Nauvoo, he had had himself anointed King of the World, he was excommunicating people who disagreed with him left and right, and the Laws had had enough. They wrote a scathing newspaper entitled, "The Nauvoo Expositor" that factually stated what Joseph Smith was doing. Joseph Smith, realizing the damage the paper would do to him and his religion, persuaded the City Council to destroy and burn the printing press the Expositor was to be published on. In addition to burning the printing press, he demonized the Laws and portrayed them as the bad guys. About all I can say in Joseph's defense is that what they were about to publish was not flattering and would have severely hurt his reputation. But in burning the printing press, he committed treason (at least that is what he was charged for) and violated the basic tenants of the constitutional protection of the press. In burning the printing press, he demonstrated exactly why the press needs to have this freedom--to keep elected and (in this case) religious leaders in check. He had lost control and wanted to stamp out the problem at its source. The burning of the printing press led to his imprisonment in Carthage, and ultimately to his death. I know the church wants to classify him as a martyr, but I respectfully disagree. He had a pistol and was defending himself, killing at least two people before he died. Furthermore, he wasn't being attacked because he proclaimed himself as a prophet. He was being attacked because of his abuse of power--i.e., marrying peoples' daughters and wives, asking men to give them their wives, then trying to secretly marry him behind the husband's back if the husband didn't agree. The point of this paragraph is that the church uses quotes from Joseph Smith regarding THIS type of opposition to demonize and cast fault on me and those like me who have left the church. I see this as harmful and no matter how you feel about Joseph Smith, he did those things and I'm not sure how I can be blamed for having a problem with it.
Why do I care about the history? After all, it's in the past and the church no longer believes in polygamy (well, sort of, unless you include widowed men who were sealed to their first wife and are then subsequently sealed to additional wives, a spiritual form of polygamy). The church has sort of apologized for the Mountain Meadows Massacre. The church has sort of apologized for its racist doctrines. So, yeah, the church teaches love and compassion, but it has a lot of skeletons in its closet. I understand that it was a different time and place and that values were different in the 1800's. The problem is that those early church leaders claimed infallibility. They claimed that they spoke for God. Brigham Young stated that Adam was our god and the only God we need to be worried about. He declared it as doctrine. He said that the penalty for any white person sleeping with a black person is death on the spot. He said that as though it was doctrine. Joseph Smith taught that there were 6 foot quakers living on the moon. More recently, apostles gave horrible talks about African Americans. For example, see the book The Church and the Negro, which can be found at http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2805810-the-church-and-the-negro. Things like this didn't take place in the 1800's; rather in the 1960's and 1970's, after Brown v. the Board and after the civil rights act had taken hold. The church was on the wrong side of history and about 30 years late to the dinner table in regards to race. Having said that, The Book of Mormon stands as a very racist religious book. If you are curious about what an outsider thinks of Book of Mormon racism, you can listen to this: http://mybookofmormonpodcast.com/2014/05/06/episode-7-2-nephi-3-8/.
In members' defense and in my defense while I was a member, the thought that the Book of Mormon was racist NEVER occurred to me and, in fact, the one time it was brought up (on my mission), I was momentarily disturbed, but a fellow missionary brushed it aside and said it wasn't a big deal, so I dutifully became OK with it and didn't think of it again. I know some of those reading this blog absolutely love The Book of Mormon and are likely offended at what I just said. I invite you to take a step back and think about the concept of God turning someone's skin dark so they are ugly to white people because the dark skinned people didn't believe. That is definitely what the people of the 1830's thought to be normal, but why would an all-knowing God allow this to take place? Why couldn't he foresee the fact that those of us in modern days would have a very real problem with it and it would likely lead to people not being converted because of the racism it implies? I don't understand.
I keep getting sidetracked. Here's the problem with LDS history and why it leads so many people out of the church. As I said before, the church claims infallibility. Modern leaders have said they would could not, would not, lead the church astray. If I take a step back and look at this logically, that statement says that church leaders are incapable of speaking incorrectly for God. Well, Gordon Hinckly said in his interviews with Larry King and David Wallace that he condemns the practice of polygamy. Brigham Young, Joseph Smith, Wilford Woodruff, and many others took part in this practice (Parley Pratt was killed because he tried to marry another man's wife), and taught it as doctrine. D&C 132 speaks very clearly that in order to get to the highest degree of the celestial kingdom, you have to have more than one wife. There is a fundamental contradiction there. Either Gordon Hinckley was lying or Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, John Taylor, etc. were in error. I have to do some serious mental gymnastics to get around this very obvious contradiction. Many people are able to do that. I just can't. I can list a few other such items, most of which are in the Journal of Discourses, including Adam God (BY taught this as doctrine, Spence Kimball called it a theory and it has also been called a deadly heresy), the age of the Earth (D&C 77 states that it is 6,000 years old, while I and 99% of the world's scientists agree that it is much, much older), the fact that Joseph Smith taught that the Garden of Eden was literal and was in Missouri, while we are now getting to the point where many believing members think it was symbolic because they somehow have to justify a belief in evolution AND the Garden of Eden. Again, if these prophets spoke for the Lord, please explain to me why they wouldn't have known it was symbolic and also known that the earth is much older than is calculated in the Old Testament? It has to be one or the other. It can't be both--either it is 6,000 years old or it isn't.
What I am saying is that if I take the church at its word that what prophets speak is LITERALLY true, how do I in good conscience choose one prophet over the other? The church, in my mind, has backed itself into a corner by claiming infallibility. If leaders didn't make statements such as, "Thus saith the Lord," we wouldn't be here. But they did and I can't ignore that.
The church asks a lot of its members in the way of time, talents, and money. I don't want to contribute any of these items to an organization that has taught racist doctrine explicitly and now implicitly still teaches it both in the Book of Mormon and in the Book of Abraham. I'm reluctant to want to participate in an organization that was the inspiration for the Mountain Meadows massacre and still refuses to apologize for it. How did it inspire the massacre? Google the Oath of Vengeance early members had to take in the temple.
Finally, fair readers, you or others may be inclined to say, "You know, you've always known, you still know it's true." Number one, that is condescending. It implies that I don't know my own feelings. I've heard the opposite said of members that "They know it isn't true." Neither statement is fair nor true. Believing members most certainly don't know it isn't true. And asking me to "know it's true" is the same as asking me to believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy or the Easter Bunny again. They are great figures and were fun to believe in when I was a child. I "knew" they were real. I remember being in fourth or third grade and having a teacher tell us that the Santa wasn't real. I "knew" she was lying and told my parents so. Keep in mind that I was older than 8 and somehow I didn't know enough to disbelieve the "Santa" myth, but did know enough to be baptized into the one true church. Furthermore, now that I am almost 40 and have decided to step out of the box the LDS church has put me in, there is something wrong with me. I am being deceived. How is it that I wasn't deceived when I was 8 and still believed in Santa but am now that I have the ability to discern truth from fiction?
Most of what I said above may be considered "anti-Mormon" by many of you. Let me clarify what "anti-Mormon" is. Anti-Mormon is The Godmakers and any other lying, ridiculous document by the likes of Ed Decker. While I have added editorial commentary to the above post, what I am basing my conclusions are established fact by both the LDS church and its detractors. If I have misspoken and stated something that as a fact that I was mis-remembering or making up, please let me know. I do not want to be the person who is misrepresenting history.
Anyway, those are my thoughts. I may post again. I may not. Your comments are welcome below or on my Facebook page. Thanks for reading.
Some websites and other materials to see:
www.mormonthink.com--this website tries to stay unbiased in its review and analysis
www.mrm.org--a clearly biased website hosted by Born Again Christians who rely only on published church literature for their documentation
www.cesletter.com--a letter that more clearly discusses my above statements
www.fairlds.org--an LDS apologist website that will help you feel better if you are troubled by what I said
In Sacred Lonliness--a book by Todd Compton (an active member of the LDS church) about Joseph Smith's wives
www.lds.org--the LDS church's website. You can look up much of the above information in its essays (note that what I have stated above used to be considered "anti" but is now being acknowledged)
Rough Stone Rolling--a biography of Joseph's Smith life written by Richard Bushman, a believer, who refutes my assertion that The Book of Mormon is racist
Sunday, October 26, 2014
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Tribute to my Mother-in-Law
I just found out a couple of things. First, it sounds like Katie's mom is getting closer and closer to leaving us. Among other conditions, she is having an increasingly difficult time of being aware of her surroundings. Second, I have been asked to present the eulogy at her funeral. In light of these two items, I would like to post a brief tribute to my wonderful mother-in-law, Judith Anne Spendlove Fitzgerald ("Judy" for short). This tribute will be from my perspective and my interactions with her rather than a long life history.
I don't know much about Judy's childhood. I know she had some of the best parents anybody could ask for. Their names were George and Flora Spendlove. Her dad was a doctor and I am not exactly sure what her mom did, other than raise three fine daughters and a son. Raising four children is no small task and I am not trying to minimize her contribution to the world. After all, if it wasn't for the parents of our parents, and so on and so on, we wouldn't be here. More importantly, we most likely wouldn't be the type of person we are becoming.
Once Judy had grown up, she married C. Michael Fitzgerald ("Mike" for short) about 49 years ago. The marriage was destined to be great.
The first time I met Judy, Katie and I had just become engaged and I drove to West Jordan to meet her and Mike at their home. When I arrived, Katie was not there and I was forced to introduce myself to Mike and Judy. Needless to say, I turned on my old sarcastic charm.
We started our conversation and were exchanging life histories, stories of how Katie and I met, the Alaska vacation Katie's family took without me (it was because I didn't know them yet, but I think they should have waited), etc. About 10 or 15 minutes into the conversation, I figured they knew a little bit about who I was. Big mistake. I wanted to told them that I had been sent home a year early from my mission. Mike laughed and knew that I was kidding. I thought Judy also knew. I was wrong. About 5 minutes later she brought the subject back around to my being sent home early. Mike and I quickly explained that it was a joke and that I fulfilled my mission honorably. This taught me a lessen that you can never know who you are fooling, even when you don't intend to. Ever since this experience she always explained my sarcasm to anybody who she thought wouldn't get it (she thought nobody would get it). All kidding aside, I believe this experience built a lasting bond between Judy, Mike and I that still resonates today.
Another thing that struck me about Judy the first time I met her was her undeviating devotion to her husband, her kids, and her grandkids. She and Mike were kind enough to invite the entire family over the same night I met them so I could meet them and become acquainted with the children and my future in-laws. From my "fresh-off-a-mission-the-world-is-all-about-adults" perspective, the house was a complete zoo. Kids were running around, shouting, shooting each other with imaginary guns, and carrying on like a bunch of 2-10 year olds (which they were). Babies were crying and nursing. The house was like nothing I ever remembered experiencing. Having said all that, Judy enjoyed being with the family the entire time I was there. She doted on her grandkids, fed us a wonderful dinner, and drew out conversation from everybody. Since that time I have never known her to show anything but kindness and love to her entire family.
One question I always think of when I contemplate my own passing is what kind of legacy I will leave. Judy should feel confident that she is leaving the best kind of legacy: love, unity, and sacrifice.
Love- Judy has always expressed her love in words. Towards the end of her life she has gone out of her way several times to tell the in-laws, me included, how much she loves us.
In the past, when she wasn't as limited in physical ability, I saw very specific actions of love directed at me. When Katie and I were engaged, I ended up living in the home of Mike and Judy with Katie (Katie upstairs and me downstairs). Every day I had a fresh breakfast waiting for me when I got out of the shower. Every day I had an excellent lunch prepared and ready to eat when I sat down at work. Every day I was asked how my day went and to share any neat experiences I might have had that day. Most importantly, every day, she kept Katie and I honest in our relationship. She kept us out of trouble (she was the "police") and helped us learn more about in each other in three months than most couples learn about each other in a year.
Unity-Four specific things come to mind when I think of this word. First, being a united family was so important to Judy and Mike that they mortgaged their house to go on the infamous 6-week Alaska trip. As I said above, I wasn't around for this trip, but I do know from the videos and the picture collage that this trip was designed to unite the family.
The second thing that comes to mind was the importance that Judy placed on regular family gatherings. Every Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Easter, the family gathered for dinner, which was usually accompanied by some sort of a program.
The third and fourth things have to do with "grand" get-togethers in which I participated. The first was at Fish Lake for Mike and Judy's 40th anniversary. She and Mike paid for the entire family to stay in cabins for three days and to celebrate the family and the marriage that brought the family into being. We laughed. We cried. We laughed some more. We got annoyed with each other. We played a lot of Pinnochle. We created memories that will last a long time. The best part is that this gathering was accompanied by modern technology and highlights of the entire weekend were captured on a DVD.
The second was the family's final get-together before Grandma Judy's death. This occurred about four or five weeks ago and was set up with the specific goal of having one final opportunity to bring the entire family together and to celebrate Judy's life. Once again, we laughed, cried, annoyed each other, and played Pinnochle. This time, Grandma wasn't quite as coherent as other times we have gathered as a family. She was a little slower in her pace and a little slower in her mental acuity. But she still had that same smile and sense of satisfaction that came with seeing her family together. It just emanated from her. I think that in her mind it wasn't as much about celebrating her life as it was about seeing her family gathered together one last time before she passed. I hope and believe that both of these gatherings lived up to her expectations. I know they exceeded mine.
Sacrifice-I can't speak too much to this because I didn't know Judy when her children were younger. But I think it is important enough that it should be the capstone on her well-lived life. Judy didn't necessarily see her life as a sacrifice for others. For her, life was about serving others and ensuring their needs were met before her own. We had Judy and Mike over for Thanksgiving a few weeks ago. Katie and I wanted to pamper them and let them just sit back and enjoy the day. Unfortunately, we didn't do the dishes after we had finished eating. Even though it was painful for her, and we insisted several times that she not help, Judy did the dishes because it was something she enjoyed and because she wanted to serve us.
I believe that sacrificing for and serving others was one of the primary drivers in her life. In fact, I think part of the reason her body wore down as soon as it did was because of the tireless service and energy she put into every day of her life.
Katie has constantly complained that she is not the same kind of her mother as Judy was (I disagree, of course). Katie and I used to discuss how much her mom worked to provide for the childrens' needs. We also discussed her mom constantly going out of her way to make others feel comfortable and to find and help those in need, almost always at the expense of her personal comfort and convenience.
As much as it sounds like Judy was a saint, that may not have always been the case. She occasionally had a twinkle in her eye because of something mischievous she had done or wanted to do. I was not always the perfect son-in-law, either. There were were times when I became frustrated, like the fact that she insisted on doing the dishes at our home when we wanted her to sit and relax. But I have NO complaints about her as a mother-in-law and especially as my wife's mom and the kind of daughter she raised. Judy has always been, and will forever be, a wonderful, terrific, splendid mother-in-law and I love her and will miss her deeply. It is too soon to lose such a great person. The world is a better place because of her and will lose a great asset when she is gone.
I don't know much about Judy's childhood. I know she had some of the best parents anybody could ask for. Their names were George and Flora Spendlove. Her dad was a doctor and I am not exactly sure what her mom did, other than raise three fine daughters and a son. Raising four children is no small task and I am not trying to minimize her contribution to the world. After all, if it wasn't for the parents of our parents, and so on and so on, we wouldn't be here. More importantly, we most likely wouldn't be the type of person we are becoming.
Once Judy had grown up, she married C. Michael Fitzgerald ("Mike" for short) about 49 years ago. The marriage was destined to be great.
The first time I met Judy, Katie and I had just become engaged and I drove to West Jordan to meet her and Mike at their home. When I arrived, Katie was not there and I was forced to introduce myself to Mike and Judy. Needless to say, I turned on my old sarcastic charm.
We started our conversation and were exchanging life histories, stories of how Katie and I met, the Alaska vacation Katie's family took without me (it was because I didn't know them yet, but I think they should have waited), etc. About 10 or 15 minutes into the conversation, I figured they knew a little bit about who I was. Big mistake. I wanted to told them that I had been sent home a year early from my mission. Mike laughed and knew that I was kidding. I thought Judy also knew. I was wrong. About 5 minutes later she brought the subject back around to my being sent home early. Mike and I quickly explained that it was a joke and that I fulfilled my mission honorably. This taught me a lessen that you can never know who you are fooling, even when you don't intend to. Ever since this experience she always explained my sarcasm to anybody who she thought wouldn't get it (she thought nobody would get it). All kidding aside, I believe this experience built a lasting bond between Judy, Mike and I that still resonates today.
Another thing that struck me about Judy the first time I met her was her undeviating devotion to her husband, her kids, and her grandkids. She and Mike were kind enough to invite the entire family over the same night I met them so I could meet them and become acquainted with the children and my future in-laws. From my "fresh-off-a-mission-the-world-is-all-about-adults" perspective, the house was a complete zoo. Kids were running around, shouting, shooting each other with imaginary guns, and carrying on like a bunch of 2-10 year olds (which they were). Babies were crying and nursing. The house was like nothing I ever remembered experiencing. Having said all that, Judy enjoyed being with the family the entire time I was there. She doted on her grandkids, fed us a wonderful dinner, and drew out conversation from everybody. Since that time I have never known her to show anything but kindness and love to her entire family.
One question I always think of when I contemplate my own passing is what kind of legacy I will leave. Judy should feel confident that she is leaving the best kind of legacy: love, unity, and sacrifice.
Love- Judy has always expressed her love in words. Towards the end of her life she has gone out of her way several times to tell the in-laws, me included, how much she loves us.
In the past, when she wasn't as limited in physical ability, I saw very specific actions of love directed at me. When Katie and I were engaged, I ended up living in the home of Mike and Judy with Katie (Katie upstairs and me downstairs). Every day I had a fresh breakfast waiting for me when I got out of the shower. Every day I had an excellent lunch prepared and ready to eat when I sat down at work. Every day I was asked how my day went and to share any neat experiences I might have had that day. Most importantly, every day, she kept Katie and I honest in our relationship. She kept us out of trouble (she was the "police") and helped us learn more about in each other in three months than most couples learn about each other in a year.
Unity-Four specific things come to mind when I think of this word. First, being a united family was so important to Judy and Mike that they mortgaged their house to go on the infamous 6-week Alaska trip. As I said above, I wasn't around for this trip, but I do know from the videos and the picture collage that this trip was designed to unite the family.
The second thing that comes to mind was the importance that Judy placed on regular family gatherings. Every Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Easter, the family gathered for dinner, which was usually accompanied by some sort of a program.
The third and fourth things have to do with "grand" get-togethers in which I participated. The first was at Fish Lake for Mike and Judy's 40th anniversary. She and Mike paid for the entire family to stay in cabins for three days and to celebrate the family and the marriage that brought the family into being. We laughed. We cried. We laughed some more. We got annoyed with each other. We played a lot of Pinnochle. We created memories that will last a long time. The best part is that this gathering was accompanied by modern technology and highlights of the entire weekend were captured on a DVD.
The second was the family's final get-together before Grandma Judy's death. This occurred about four or five weeks ago and was set up with the specific goal of having one final opportunity to bring the entire family together and to celebrate Judy's life. Once again, we laughed, cried, annoyed each other, and played Pinnochle. This time, Grandma wasn't quite as coherent as other times we have gathered as a family. She was a little slower in her pace and a little slower in her mental acuity. But she still had that same smile and sense of satisfaction that came with seeing her family together. It just emanated from her. I think that in her mind it wasn't as much about celebrating her life as it was about seeing her family gathered together one last time before she passed. I hope and believe that both of these gatherings lived up to her expectations. I know they exceeded mine.
Sacrifice-I can't speak too much to this because I didn't know Judy when her children were younger. But I think it is important enough that it should be the capstone on her well-lived life. Judy didn't necessarily see her life as a sacrifice for others. For her, life was about serving others and ensuring their needs were met before her own. We had Judy and Mike over for Thanksgiving a few weeks ago. Katie and I wanted to pamper them and let them just sit back and enjoy the day. Unfortunately, we didn't do the dishes after we had finished eating. Even though it was painful for her, and we insisted several times that she not help, Judy did the dishes because it was something she enjoyed and because she wanted to serve us.
I believe that sacrificing for and serving others was one of the primary drivers in her life. In fact, I think part of the reason her body wore down as soon as it did was because of the tireless service and energy she put into every day of her life.
Katie has constantly complained that she is not the same kind of her mother as Judy was (I disagree, of course). Katie and I used to discuss how much her mom worked to provide for the childrens' needs. We also discussed her mom constantly going out of her way to make others feel comfortable and to find and help those in need, almost always at the expense of her personal comfort and convenience.
As much as it sounds like Judy was a saint, that may not have always been the case. She occasionally had a twinkle in her eye because of something mischievous she had done or wanted to do. I was not always the perfect son-in-law, either. There were were times when I became frustrated, like the fact that she insisted on doing the dishes at our home when we wanted her to sit and relax. But I have NO complaints about her as a mother-in-law and especially as my wife's mom and the kind of daughter she raised. Judy has always been, and will forever be, a wonderful, terrific, splendid mother-in-law and I love her and will miss her deeply. It is too soon to lose such a great person. The world is a better place because of her and will lose a great asset when she is gone.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Letting Go of My Boxer
It is with great sadness that I post this ad for the sale of my Boxer, Dewey . . .
This is the beginning line of an ad I just placed on our local classified service, KSL.com. I am very sad about this because I absolutely love our dog. He is wonderful with children and everyone he has encountered. The problem is that I am on the road so often that I rarely have the opportunity to care for and walk him. As you most likely know, we have five kids, one of whom is still in diapers (which means his poop has to be cleaned up by Katie), another child who still asks for help wiping while on the toilet, and a dog who doesn’t know how to use the toilet. Katie says she had too much poop in her life before we purchased Dewey, but now it’s out of control.
I think that letting go will be difficult for me. I do have some experience with letting go—my maternal grandparents passed away when I was about 15. I discussed my Grandpa in a prior post. Suffice it to say that I had a close relationship with my grandparents and was extremely sad to lose them. Now I’m going to lose my dog, and will likely soon lose another person with whom I am extremely close, my wife’s mom. This post is not a “woe is me” column, but I just wanted to discuss the difficulties that come with letting go of something or someone we love.
Letting go can come in many forms—the death of a relative or close friend, the death or loss of a pet, moving, or changing jobs. Every one of these events have something in common: losing or changing the dynamics of a relationship we have previously enjoyed with a living, breathing thing we have come to develop a close, lasting bone.
As they say, time is the healer of all wounds. I don’t think time ever completely heals all wounds. My mom still tears up because she misses her parents, parents who have lost children to death still cry because they deeply miss their child. With a child, especially, there is always that curiosity of what they would have become, or as Kenny Chesney sings, “Who you’d be today.” I have other friends and acquaintances who lost their child not to death but to traumatic circumstances that completely changed the course of the child’s life.
In all cases, the question is how do we deal with it? The psychologists say we go through the five or so stages of grief—denial, anger, something, something, acceptance. They are the experts and definitely know more about this process than do I. Going through this process always takes time and we can sometimes go back and forth between the different stages.
Once we get to acceptance, I believe we become better, stronger, more resilient individuals. As discussed in a previous post, we discover what we are capable of in these challenging situations. Some people never make it to acceptance and discover that they have a challenge accepting drastic change. Other people move through the stages in a matter of minutes.
I don’t think that the quick process will be the case with me when we sell the dog. I also don’t think it will be the case with my wife when she loses her mom. It seems that no matter how well we prepare for an inevitable event in our life, it still is difficult to adjust and accept that the vent has happened. The first time I come home wanting to greet the dog and he won’t be there. The first time Katie wants to call her mom to tell her how frustrating I am or something cute the kids have done. The first time Katie’s father comes home to an empty home after the friends and family have left and he is all alone with his thoughts.
Enough about the things that cause grief and how it might hit us. I want to discuss our role as friends and acquaintances of the grieving individuals. I currently do not know what it feels like to go through the death of a parent, a spouse’s parent, or a spouse. I have some idea of the feeling of loss that comes from losing a pet, but not a pet as close as Dewey. Similarly, many of our friends who have been there to comfort Katie haven’t had the experience of losing a parent. There are also many friends and acquaintances who have been through this exact experience. In all cases, Katie especially has appreciated the kind words and the shoulders that have been used to cry on. The interesting thing is that many of our acquaintances who we didn’t otherwise know, but have experienced losing a parent, have gone out of their way to speak with Katie and to comfort, support, and empathize with her. There seems to be a bonding experience between individuals with shared experiences.
Katie has also been there for her siblings and father to grieve with them and to also buoy up their spirits. Many times, the person experiencing the traumatic experience is a source of strength to others around them. What causes this? I would venture to guess that it is hope. Hope to see their loved one again after they pass, hope to remember, laugh at, and relish the many wonderful experiences shared together with their loved one. Indeed, I believe we all have hope for a tomorrow that will be better than today as we go through the grieving process. However, we must also be prepared for a tomorrow that is worse than today as we go through the grieving process. The key is to accept the fact that we are having a bad day and to rely on others to help us through it. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with grieving and having difficult days.
I hope this post hasn’t come off as crass or self-serving or shallow because of my mention of the dog. Rather, I want to reach out a caring hand to those who are grieving for any reason, to ask for others to reach out a caring hand to my wife as she goes through her grieving process, and to thank those who have so unselfishly served and helped her since her mother was diagnosed with cancer. Don’t get me wrong, though—MANY, MANY people have reached out and I appreciate them immensely. I am convinced, however, that Katie will have ample reason to grieve over the next several weeks and months.
Thank you again for slogging through these posts. For some reason I get great satisfaction in knowing others red this blog and I hope you enjoy the thoughts that are shared.
This is the beginning line of an ad I just placed on our local classified service, KSL.com. I am very sad about this because I absolutely love our dog. He is wonderful with children and everyone he has encountered. The problem is that I am on the road so often that I rarely have the opportunity to care for and walk him. As you most likely know, we have five kids, one of whom is still in diapers (which means his poop has to be cleaned up by Katie), another child who still asks for help wiping while on the toilet, and a dog who doesn’t know how to use the toilet. Katie says she had too much poop in her life before we purchased Dewey, but now it’s out of control.
I think that letting go will be difficult for me. I do have some experience with letting go—my maternal grandparents passed away when I was about 15. I discussed my Grandpa in a prior post. Suffice it to say that I had a close relationship with my grandparents and was extremely sad to lose them. Now I’m going to lose my dog, and will likely soon lose another person with whom I am extremely close, my wife’s mom. This post is not a “woe is me” column, but I just wanted to discuss the difficulties that come with letting go of something or someone we love.
Letting go can come in many forms—the death of a relative or close friend, the death or loss of a pet, moving, or changing jobs. Every one of these events have something in common: losing or changing the dynamics of a relationship we have previously enjoyed with a living, breathing thing we have come to develop a close, lasting bone.
As they say, time is the healer of all wounds. I don’t think time ever completely heals all wounds. My mom still tears up because she misses her parents, parents who have lost children to death still cry because they deeply miss their child. With a child, especially, there is always that curiosity of what they would have become, or as Kenny Chesney sings, “Who you’d be today.” I have other friends and acquaintances who lost their child not to death but to traumatic circumstances that completely changed the course of the child’s life.
In all cases, the question is how do we deal with it? The psychologists say we go through the five or so stages of grief—denial, anger, something, something, acceptance. They are the experts and definitely know more about this process than do I. Going through this process always takes time and we can sometimes go back and forth between the different stages.
Once we get to acceptance, I believe we become better, stronger, more resilient individuals. As discussed in a previous post, we discover what we are capable of in these challenging situations. Some people never make it to acceptance and discover that they have a challenge accepting drastic change. Other people move through the stages in a matter of minutes.
I don’t think that the quick process will be the case with me when we sell the dog. I also don’t think it will be the case with my wife when she loses her mom. It seems that no matter how well we prepare for an inevitable event in our life, it still is difficult to adjust and accept that the vent has happened. The first time I come home wanting to greet the dog and he won’t be there. The first time Katie wants to call her mom to tell her how frustrating I am or something cute the kids have done. The first time Katie’s father comes home to an empty home after the friends and family have left and he is all alone with his thoughts.
Enough about the things that cause grief and how it might hit us. I want to discuss our role as friends and acquaintances of the grieving individuals. I currently do not know what it feels like to go through the death of a parent, a spouse’s parent, or a spouse. I have some idea of the feeling of loss that comes from losing a pet, but not a pet as close as Dewey. Similarly, many of our friends who have been there to comfort Katie haven’t had the experience of losing a parent. There are also many friends and acquaintances who have been through this exact experience. In all cases, Katie especially has appreciated the kind words and the shoulders that have been used to cry on. The interesting thing is that many of our acquaintances who we didn’t otherwise know, but have experienced losing a parent, have gone out of their way to speak with Katie and to comfort, support, and empathize with her. There seems to be a bonding experience between individuals with shared experiences.
Katie has also been there for her siblings and father to grieve with them and to also buoy up their spirits. Many times, the person experiencing the traumatic experience is a source of strength to others around them. What causes this? I would venture to guess that it is hope. Hope to see their loved one again after they pass, hope to remember, laugh at, and relish the many wonderful experiences shared together with their loved one. Indeed, I believe we all have hope for a tomorrow that will be better than today as we go through the grieving process. However, we must also be prepared for a tomorrow that is worse than today as we go through the grieving process. The key is to accept the fact that we are having a bad day and to rely on others to help us through it. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with grieving and having difficult days.
I hope this post hasn’t come off as crass or self-serving or shallow because of my mention of the dog. Rather, I want to reach out a caring hand to those who are grieving for any reason, to ask for others to reach out a caring hand to my wife as she goes through her grieving process, and to thank those who have so unselfishly served and helped her since her mother was diagnosed with cancer. Don’t get me wrong, though—MANY, MANY people have reached out and I appreciate them immensely. I am convinced, however, that Katie will have ample reason to grieve over the next several weeks and months.
Thank you again for slogging through these posts. For some reason I get great satisfaction in knowing others red this blog and I hope you enjoy the thoughts that are shared.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Let's Record our Life Story!
The following item was posted on November 30, 2009:
I am sitting on an airplane en route from Salt Lake to Dallas and figured this would be a good time to write an entry. First of all, the statement that last Wednesday was the “busiest travel day of the year” was not exactly true for me. When I arrived at the Dallas airport, it took me about 2 minutes to get through secur...ity, the airport was empty, and my flight had empty seats in coach and first class. First class is usually full because everybody wants an upgrade.
On to the subject at hand. As was discussed in my last post, I’ve been thinking about relationships and family over the last while, specifically our progenitors. About two months ago I transcribed a tape of a presentation my Grandpa (Mom’s dad) gave in High Priests Group. It was about a half hour long and it was his life history through 1983. I found out that he had a horrible illness as a child that should have killed him, that he worked in grocery stores for quite a while when he was first married, but that he was laid off as a result of complications related to the illness he had suffered as a child. I found out how he came to become an executive for the local railroad. I found out about some of his relatives and
interesting life of experiences of those relatives (I believe it was his grandpa
who was president of the St. George temple and was the brother of George Q.
Cannon).
The interesting thing is that when he told his life history, he didn’t think it he had done much and seemed to be embarrassed to be doing it. One of his opening comments was that he thought he would have a difficult time taking up the entire class with his history. Of course, I was enthralled to listen to this tape and did so a few times because I wanted to know as much about him as I possibly could.
So what does this mean about us? I’ll bet that our life history will be absolutely fascinating to and provide excellent learning experiences for our children and grandchildren long after we have passed on. It doesn’t matter if you were homeless, had a difficult life, or had a life that everybody else saw as “easy.” You and I have a legacy that we can and should pass onto the coming generations. So if anybody ever approaches you to make a tape about your life, or to write down some sort of a comprehensive autobiography, you should jump at the opportunity. Remember that you wouldn’t do this to boast about yourself or to make your life seem more important that others’. You would be doing it because future generations (especially those directly related to you) will want to read as much about you and your life as possible. It will be interesting not only because of the things you did, but also because it is a recording of culture and thoughts of the time in which you lived. And, heck, one of the neatest ways we can do this today is through the use of Facebook!
That’s all for today. Hope you enjoyed my soapbox discussion. Live long, prosper, and record your life! (I am probably one of the biggest hypocrites to be writing this, by the way).
I am sitting on an airplane en route from Salt Lake to Dallas and figured this would be a good time to write an entry. First of all, the statement that last Wednesday was the “busiest travel day of the year” was not exactly true for me. When I arrived at the Dallas airport, it took me about 2 minutes to get through secur...ity, the airport was empty, and my flight had empty seats in coach and first class. First class is usually full because everybody wants an upgrade.
On to the subject at hand. As was discussed in my last post, I’ve been thinking about relationships and family over the last while, specifically our progenitors. About two months ago I transcribed a tape of a presentation my Grandpa (Mom’s dad) gave in High Priests Group. It was about a half hour long and it was his life history through 1983. I found out that he had a horrible illness as a child that should have killed him, that he worked in grocery stores for quite a while when he was first married, but that he was laid off as a result of complications related to the illness he had suffered as a child. I found out how he came to become an executive for the local railroad. I found out about some of his relatives and
interesting life of experiences of those relatives (I believe it was his grandpa
who was president of the St. George temple and was the brother of George Q.
Cannon).
The interesting thing is that when he told his life history, he didn’t think it he had done much and seemed to be embarrassed to be doing it. One of his opening comments was that he thought he would have a difficult time taking up the entire class with his history. Of course, I was enthralled to listen to this tape and did so a few times because I wanted to know as much about him as I possibly could.
So what does this mean about us? I’ll bet that our life history will be absolutely fascinating to and provide excellent learning experiences for our children and grandchildren long after we have passed on. It doesn’t matter if you were homeless, had a difficult life, or had a life that everybody else saw as “easy.” You and I have a legacy that we can and should pass onto the coming generations. So if anybody ever approaches you to make a tape about your life, or to write down some sort of a comprehensive autobiography, you should jump at the opportunity. Remember that you wouldn’t do this to boast about yourself or to make your life seem more important that others’. You would be doing it because future generations (especially those directly related to you) will want to read as much about you and your life as possible. It will be interesting not only because of the things you did, but also because it is a recording of culture and thoughts of the time in which you lived. And, heck, one of the neatest ways we can do this today is through the use of Facebook!
That’s all for today. Hope you enjoyed my soapbox discussion. Live long, prosper, and record your life! (I am probably one of the biggest hypocrites to be writing this, by the way).
Thankful for Thanksgiving
The following item was posted on November 24, 2009:
This thing says, "What's on your mind?" That's a good question. I don't know what's on my mind because I've been working for about 12 hours now and am exhausted. But I'm sure that I can come up with something . . .
I'm in Dallas this week and get to return home tomorrow. I am flying on one of THE biggest travel days... of the year in one of the busiest airports on the country--DFW. I think that will build some character.
Just got off the phone with my family. Jessica said the evening prayer and said she was grateful that they could have a short school day tomorrow. That actually makes me smile thinking about it. I am happy for them. I am grateful to have a long 4-day no-work-weekend. We get to see Katie's family, then head to Price to see my family. Very nice.
When we were first married and lived in Logan with two children, we probably saw Katie's family once every other week and my family at least once a month. Now with five kids, we are lucky to get to Price every 3rd or 4th month. I guess that's just part of life--the larger and more involved your family becomes, the less time you have to dedicate to traveling to relatives and reacquainting yourself with friends.
That's why I'm thankful for a holiday that has to do with giving thanks! It provides ample opportunity to see family and relatives on at least an annual basis. The funny thing is that I always come away from Thanksgiving or Christmas meals/celebrations wishing I could have spent more time at said meal/celebration with the relative/acquaintance/friend, etc! I even have the sincere desire and wish to spend more time with the relative/friend/rarely-seen acquaintance during the upcoming year, but rarely, if ever do because of the amount of stuff we have going on. Whether it's on my side of the family or Katie's side of the family, we always enjoy seeing and visiting with family.
So if I don't see you this year for the holidays or say that I would like to see you again in the upcoming year but am unable to, please forgive me. It's not because I don't want to see you. It's because time, like the sands in an hourglass, just keeps sliding right through my fingers (deep, right?). Just know that you are loved and missed. At least we have face book!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
I'm off to bed now.
This thing says, "What's on your mind?" That's a good question. I don't know what's on my mind because I've been working for about 12 hours now and am exhausted. But I'm sure that I can come up with something . . .
I'm in Dallas this week and get to return home tomorrow. I am flying on one of THE biggest travel days... of the year in one of the busiest airports on the country--DFW. I think that will build some character.
Just got off the phone with my family. Jessica said the evening prayer and said she was grateful that they could have a short school day tomorrow. That actually makes me smile thinking about it. I am happy for them. I am grateful to have a long 4-day no-work-weekend. We get to see Katie's family, then head to Price to see my family. Very nice.
When we were first married and lived in Logan with two children, we probably saw Katie's family once every other week and my family at least once a month. Now with five kids, we are lucky to get to Price every 3rd or 4th month. I guess that's just part of life--the larger and more involved your family becomes, the less time you have to dedicate to traveling to relatives and reacquainting yourself with friends.
That's why I'm thankful for a holiday that has to do with giving thanks! It provides ample opportunity to see family and relatives on at least an annual basis. The funny thing is that I always come away from Thanksgiving or Christmas meals/celebrations wishing I could have spent more time at said meal/celebration with the relative/acquaintance/friend, etc! I even have the sincere desire and wish to spend more time with the relative/friend/rarely-seen acquaintance during the upcoming year, but rarely, if ever do because of the amount of stuff we have going on. Whether it's on my side of the family or Katie's side of the family, we always enjoy seeing and visiting with family.
So if I don't see you this year for the holidays or say that I would like to see you again in the upcoming year but am unable to, please forgive me. It's not because I don't want to see you. It's because time, like the sands in an hourglass, just keeps sliding right through my fingers (deep, right?). Just know that you are loved and missed. At least we have face book!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
I'm off to bed now.
How do We Define Love?
The following post was written November 20, 2009:
It's 10:30 and I really need some sleep (was up too late last night writing the post), but I've had something on my mind and want to get it off my chest. This seems like a great way to do that.
As I've been catching up with old friends, my mind has been drawn back to High School and a conversation I had with my dad. I... drove home one day and told him that I was in love. He kind of rolled his eyes and said, "You don't know what love is." What did he know? He didn't know my heart. I was really in love!! At least that's what I thought.
Fast forward to meeting my lovely wife Katie. The VERY first time I saw her, I knew we were going to get married. Don't ask me how or why--I just did. After we talked about it later, she had the exact same feeling as I did. Did that mean that I loved her? Of course not. It meant that I was at least infatuated with someone and wanted to see how it would progress. We got married shortly after that first encounter.
Life went pretty well for us the first few years of marriage. We were (still are) happy, there were no major health issues, no huge causes for concern (apart from the time I rolled the car because I wanted to hold her hand, but that's another story). All in all, life was good. But there was still this nagging feeling in the back of my head wondering if I REALLY loved her--you know, the kind of love that makes you want to absolutely live or die for somebody. Living in Logan, Utah and about three years into our marriage, I found out the answer to that question.
Katie had been having stomach pains for a few weeks. We went to the emergency room multiple times. One time the doctor blamed it on an upset stomach; another told her that her "movements" were stuck in the middle of her intestines. I think she was asked to drink that nuclear stuff that cleans out your system at least two or three times without success. After several days and weeks of frustration from these repeated doctor encounters, we finally found the "right" person. He performed an ultrasound and found a blood clot between her stomach and her intestine. This was a big problem. So big, in fact, they loaded her in an ambulance and took her to Salt Lake.
When I watched that ambulance drive away, it broke my heart (almost literally). I called my mom to apprise her of the situation and just broke down and bawled--couldn't talk for several minutes. I can't remember the last time I cried like that. That was when I knew without a doubt that I love my wife.
The funny thing about that kind of love is that you can't really describe it. For me, I love my wife but almost don't feel it. That sounds very strange, but here are the signs that tell me that I really love my Katie: You know you love the person because you can't stand being apart. You know you love the person because you don't know what life would be like without them (you can't imagine yourself without them). You know you love the person because when they are sick, a part of you is sick, too. You know you love the person because if that person were to ever pass on, a part of you would, too. You know you love the person because nobody else in the entire world knows you like they do, treats you like they do, and laughs at your lame jokes like they do.
So, I guess my question in this post is have you ever had a similar experience? Did you have a "moment" when you knew you loved your significant other, or have you just always known? I would be curious to know.
It's 10:30 and I really need some sleep (was up too late last night writing the post), but I've had something on my mind and want to get it off my chest. This seems like a great way to do that.
As I've been catching up with old friends, my mind has been drawn back to High School and a conversation I had with my dad. I... drove home one day and told him that I was in love. He kind of rolled his eyes and said, "You don't know what love is." What did he know? He didn't know my heart. I was really in love!! At least that's what I thought.
Fast forward to meeting my lovely wife Katie. The VERY first time I saw her, I knew we were going to get married. Don't ask me how or why--I just did. After we talked about it later, she had the exact same feeling as I did. Did that mean that I loved her? Of course not. It meant that I was at least infatuated with someone and wanted to see how it would progress. We got married shortly after that first encounter.
Life went pretty well for us the first few years of marriage. We were (still are) happy, there were no major health issues, no huge causes for concern (apart from the time I rolled the car because I wanted to hold her hand, but that's another story). All in all, life was good. But there was still this nagging feeling in the back of my head wondering if I REALLY loved her--you know, the kind of love that makes you want to absolutely live or die for somebody. Living in Logan, Utah and about three years into our marriage, I found out the answer to that question.
Katie had been having stomach pains for a few weeks. We went to the emergency room multiple times. One time the doctor blamed it on an upset stomach; another told her that her "movements" were stuck in the middle of her intestines. I think she was asked to drink that nuclear stuff that cleans out your system at least two or three times without success. After several days and weeks of frustration from these repeated doctor encounters, we finally found the "right" person. He performed an ultrasound and found a blood clot between her stomach and her intestine. This was a big problem. So big, in fact, they loaded her in an ambulance and took her to Salt Lake.
When I watched that ambulance drive away, it broke my heart (almost literally). I called my mom to apprise her of the situation and just broke down and bawled--couldn't talk for several minutes. I can't remember the last time I cried like that. That was when I knew without a doubt that I love my wife.
The funny thing about that kind of love is that you can't really describe it. For me, I love my wife but almost don't feel it. That sounds very strange, but here are the signs that tell me that I really love my Katie: You know you love the person because you can't stand being apart. You know you love the person because you don't know what life would be like without them (you can't imagine yourself without them). You know you love the person because when they are sick, a part of you is sick, too. You know you love the person because if that person were to ever pass on, a part of you would, too. You know you love the person because nobody else in the entire world knows you like they do, treats you like they do, and laughs at your lame jokes like they do.
So, I guess my question in this post is have you ever had a similar experience? Did you have a "moment" when you knew you loved your significant other, or have you just always known? I would be curious to know.
My Idiot Dog
I started doing blogs on Facebook and quickly realized that the better place to keep track of my posts would be in this forum. Consequently, I'm going to post all of the old Facebook posts here. The following was posted on November 19, 2009:
So, is this a blog or just a one or two sentence thing? I am going to go for something in the middle. If you don't want to read this, that's OK. But, why not use the power of the world wide web to pontificate?
So, today I found out that I am going to be traveling for a bit. Kind of sad because I will miss my family,... but grateful for a good project to work on and really good co-workers. Travel is the nature of my job. I have to admit, it's tough to be away from the family and activities going on. But at the same time, I really love what I do . .
To help ease the burden of the travel, we went and got a web cam today. Now Katie, the kids and I can talk live and see each other while we are apart!! That is truly awesome. I do think, however, that the littlest children will hog the camera when we talk.
In case you don't know, we have a Boxer, Dewey (that's him with my son, Josh). He's an idiot. I love him, but he's a real idiot. We left him outside on a lead today--by the time we got back, he had dug a nice hole in the yard. I guess I'm grateful for the sprawling nature of grass and that it should fill in the hole by the time I'm 90 (should be good as new, in fact).
Then, as I was out putting up a tether ball pole for the girls (please refer to family picture for a visual of the girls), I got an urgent call and ended up leaving Dewey outside without being attached to anything or fenced into the yard. Needless to say, he was gone as soon as I left. The neighbors around us truly have a lot of patience because they have had ample opportunities to call the pound on our idiot, lovable dog, yet they haven't. Yay for us (there are some days that I wish they would, though). Anyway, back to the story.
Dewey has a BFF boxer in the neighborhood, owned by one of my "facebook friends," Ashley Tanner. The boxer's name is Rosie. Rosie is actually the dog who inspired me to get a boxer after I begged, pleaded, and lied by telling Katie that I would be responsible for feeding, bathing, and cleaning up after the dog. I had good intentions of actually doing all of those tasks when we got him, but travel and a sincere lack of desire has prevented me from taking responsibility for my own dog. Katie is a much better person than I am!
To make a super long story even longer, I found Dewey at his favorite stomping grounds, Rosie's house, playing like an idiot! As soon as he saw me, though, his ears perked up and he was on his way home. At that point, I was sure he wasn't as big of an idiot as I had thought. Then I came home and he had pooped on the floor.
That's it for tonight. Hope you enjoy your Friday!
So, is this a blog or just a one or two sentence thing? I am going to go for something in the middle. If you don't want to read this, that's OK. But, why not use the power of the world wide web to pontificate?
So, today I found out that I am going to be traveling for a bit. Kind of sad because I will miss my family,... but grateful for a good project to work on and really good co-workers. Travel is the nature of my job. I have to admit, it's tough to be away from the family and activities going on. But at the same time, I really love what I do . .
To help ease the burden of the travel, we went and got a web cam today. Now Katie, the kids and I can talk live and see each other while we are apart!! That is truly awesome. I do think, however, that the littlest children will hog the camera when we talk.
In case you don't know, we have a Boxer, Dewey (that's him with my son, Josh). He's an idiot. I love him, but he's a real idiot. We left him outside on a lead today--by the time we got back, he had dug a nice hole in the yard. I guess I'm grateful for the sprawling nature of grass and that it should fill in the hole by the time I'm 90 (should be good as new, in fact).
Then, as I was out putting up a tether ball pole for the girls (please refer to family picture for a visual of the girls), I got an urgent call and ended up leaving Dewey outside without being attached to anything or fenced into the yard. Needless to say, he was gone as soon as I left. The neighbors around us truly have a lot of patience because they have had ample opportunities to call the pound on our idiot, lovable dog, yet they haven't. Yay for us (there are some days that I wish they would, though). Anyway, back to the story.
Dewey has a BFF boxer in the neighborhood, owned by one of my "facebook friends," Ashley Tanner. The boxer's name is Rosie. Rosie is actually the dog who inspired me to get a boxer after I begged, pleaded, and lied by telling Katie that I would be responsible for feeding, bathing, and cleaning up after the dog. I had good intentions of actually doing all of those tasks when we got him, but travel and a sincere lack of desire has prevented me from taking responsibility for my own dog. Katie is a much better person than I am!
To make a super long story even longer, I found Dewey at his favorite stomping grounds, Rosie's house, playing like an idiot! As soon as he saw me, though, his ears perked up and he was on his way home. At that point, I was sure he wasn't as big of an idiot as I had thought. Then I came home and he had pooped on the floor.
That's it for tonight. Hope you enjoy your Friday!
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